The truth be known

Right off the bat let me just confess that I do indulge in watching American Idol. And no... I am not one of those people who only watch the auditions for a good laugh and for the occasional shock factor when some kid is off the charts good. I watch from day one until the finale. Oh yes, I am a fan. And I like Simon. Now if you're still reading... here is a little tid-bit about me: There is only one thing that separates me from the worst misguided wannabee starlet ever to appear on the show and that is - awareness. I mean I truly feel for the girl who's been bitten by the fame bug and gives the judges her soulful rendition of a Christine Aguilera ballad only to hear Simon tell her she is 100% tone deaf. See I too am tone deaf.

I haven’t always been aware of my inability to sing a song in key for the life of me. Actually, loved ones let me go years blissfully ignorant of the fact (no hard feelings). It wasn’t until the 7th grade that I would learn the hard truth. You see, I moved to Syracuse the summer before the 6th grade and there really wasn’t much to do. I didn’t know anyone except for Cassie, who lived two houses down, and I soon learned that alone time would be preferred to board games and Scatagories with her, and her insane Scotty dog that had it in for me.

When school started I was looking forward to making some new friends, but as it would turnout, the other kids were a bit slow to warm up to me. And understandably so, I mean 11-13 are the super awkward years, so it’s not the most opportune time to make first impressions. So yeah, when 7th period Chorus rolled around - I was pretty much psyched. It was fun-time.

As the year moved on I slowly made friends, but they were more of the band geek type. If they had taken Chorus maybe they would have warned me. I don’t know. Kids are cruel. Well I tried out for every solo. The auditions, of course, were always in front of the entire class. Much to my disappointment, I was never given a solo. Then the next year in the 7th grade my teacher asked to speak with me after class. It was then that she asked me not to sign up for Chorus again the following year. Apparently, my teacher had high aspirations to make it to Regionals (apparently some really big competition) and I was evidently, single handedly holding the group back. In that moment – reality became crystal clear. Everything made sense now: my teacher rolling her eyes every time I auditioned; being moved from section to section clearly wasn’t because I was versatile; my church Songsters leader constantly reminding me to sing softer, and of course the fact that I was never given a solo, not even a duet.

Unlike the American Idol contestants, I didn’t start screaming at her and I didn’t give her the finger or throw a temper tantrum. I just said okay and went off to my next class. When I got home I cried at first. Then I was embarrassed. I mean that was the year Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” came out. Thinking I was quite gifted, I used to sing that with all of my heart and soul… in the car. My poor parents. My brother deserved it though. ;-)

So now… I will only sing in my car, when I’m alone. And sometimes, if I’m at a red light and I catch someone in the car next to me so much as looking at me – I’ll stop. I will sing softly in front of David, but I’m even starting to stop that because whenever I sing he always says, “what?” Not to be rude or anything. I just think he can’t tell what I’m doing and thinks I’m talking to him. I don’t know… it’s weird. I think I’ll stop.

So I have somewhat of an affinity with the American Idol contestants who suck. If it weren’t for that Chorus teacher in the 7th grade, I might of gone through life making an utter fool of myself, maybe even on national television. So my dear tone deaf challenged friends… awareness is key. If someone tells you nicely that maybe you should sing more softly… or not at all… maybe you should take their advice. :-D