Wednesday, January 31, 2007

A baby? Or just a good burger?

I forgot one thing that ties into the medias' obsession with actresses and their weight, particularly their midsections. The new million dollar photo is catching an actress who’s with child. I think I was watching the red carpet of some award show when they got to Halle Berry and she was asked what she thought of all the mags showing extreme close-up shots of her tummy with captions like "Halle's bump…she's pregnant!" I loved her response, (paraphrased) "I wish the paparazzi would back off and stop taking pictures of me after I've just eaten an In & Out burger."

Morning ramblings & weighty issues

I have so much to do at work today that it's a bit daunting... so to get warmed up I thought I'd write a little somethin, somethin here.

First, as if Rob Thomas isn't adorable enough AND a great performing artist (my husband will probably cringe as he reads this), he has just moved up a couple of notches on my list of great petatarians. Why? you may ask. Well, an animal shelter here in Hudson Valley known for it's "no kill" policy has recently had a run of bad luck since its director became seriously ill and was omitted to the hospital. Well, I don't know if Mr. Thomas is from around here or not, but if he is, all the more reason to love Hudson Valley. The point is, he recently made a plee on his website for his fans to support this obscure little shelter in a town that barely registers on the map. My pride for Rockland County thus swells thereby making a potential move to NJ that much more heartbreaking.

Then while driving to work today I hear PLJ talking about some Tyra Banks scandal. Personally, I don't get into pop culture. Sometimes I watch the entertainment news shows because they humor me, but other than that, I just find most of pop culture overwhelmingly fake and superficial. Two traits I have little tolerance for. (On a deeper level, I think pop culture is detrimental to women's self image, but I won't bore you with all of that.) Case in point... Tyra was photographed in a swimsuit looking more than skin and bones. This was an outrage to many, so they have posted these photos on the web criticizing her for gaining some weight. Now, the medias’ reaction is schizophrenic as usual. They can never decide where they stand on an issue, particularly when it comes to women and their weight. As if this is a newsworthy story... any given actress seems to be TOO SKINNY or NOT SKINNY ENOUGH. So killers of self esteem, please tell us women who are dying to know... what is the acceptable weight?

Now back to Tyra... PLJ played a sound bite of her emotional response to the criticism and how she has something important to say to her critics... tomorrow on the Tyra Banks Show. Oh please... the hypocrisy is making me nauseous... this is the woman who also has the America’s Next Top Model show where if you watch reruns of the 2nd season you can witness her telling a hopeful top model, who used to be quite heavy, but lost all the weight to fulfill her dreams of becoming a supermodel, that she needs to "work on her body" cause she has a few extra pounds. On the same season I believe, she can be caught telling a model that if she's serious about being a top model she needs to start "working out and watching what she eats." Now both of these girls were a size 0. Size 2 tops. So I laugh when she takes the opportunity to grab the spotlight and run with this issue, as if she hasn't perpetuated the problem herself on national television. Oh yeah… her ANTP show originally had plus-size model hopefuls on it. These girls not only never won, or made it very far in the contest, but they are no longer even on the show at all. I remember one time for a photo shoot, the girls had to run to a rack of clothes and find something to wear and the plus-sized girl found nothing even remotely in her size. So not only was she not given a chance to win, but they ridiculed her by not even giving the girl something to wear in her size. So Trya, please, spare us the water works. I'm not buying it.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The truth be known

Right off the bat let me just confess that I do indulge in watching American Idol. And no... I am not one of those people who only watch the auditions for a good laugh and for the occasional shock factor when some kid is off the charts good. I watch from day one until the finale. Oh yes, I am a fan. And I like Simon. Now if you're still reading... here is a little tid-bit about me: There is only one thing that separates me from the worst misguided wannabee starlet ever to appear on the show and that is - awareness. I mean I truly feel for the girl who's been bitten by the fame bug and gives the judges her soulful rendition of a Christine Aguilera ballad only to hear Simon tell her she is 100% tone deaf. See I too am tone deaf.

I haven’t always been aware of my inability to sing a song in key for the life of me. Actually, loved ones let me go years blissfully ignorant of the fact (no hard feelings). It wasn’t until the 7th grade that I would learn the hard truth. You see, I moved to Syracuse the summer before the 6th grade and there really wasn’t much to do. I didn’t know anyone except for Cassie, who lived two houses down, and I soon learned that alone time would be preferred to board games and Scatagories with her, and her insane Scotty dog that had it in for me.

When school started I was looking forward to making some new friends, but as it would turnout, the other kids were a bit slow to warm up to me. And understandably so, I mean 11-13 are the super awkward years, so it’s not the most opportune time to make first impressions. So yeah, when 7th period Chorus rolled around - I was pretty much psyched. It was fun-time.

As the year moved on I slowly made friends, but they were more of the band geek type. If they had taken Chorus maybe they would have warned me. I don’t know. Kids are cruel. Well I tried out for every solo. The auditions, of course, were always in front of the entire class. Much to my disappointment, I was never given a solo. Then the next year in the 7th grade my teacher asked to speak with me after class. It was then that she asked me not to sign up for Chorus again the following year. Apparently, my teacher had high aspirations to make it to Regionals (apparently some really big competition) and I was evidently, single handedly holding the group back. In that moment – reality became crystal clear. Everything made sense now: my teacher rolling her eyes every time I auditioned; being moved from section to section clearly wasn’t because I was versatile; my church Songsters leader constantly reminding me to sing softer, and of course the fact that I was never given a solo, not even a duet.

Unlike the American Idol contestants, I didn’t start screaming at her and I didn’t give her the finger or throw a temper tantrum. I just said okay and went off to my next class. When I got home I cried at first. Then I was embarrassed. I mean that was the year Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” came out. Thinking I was quite gifted, I used to sing that with all of my heart and soul… in the car. My poor parents. My brother deserved it though. ;-)

So now… I will only sing in my car, when I’m alone. And sometimes, if I’m at a red light and I catch someone in the car next to me so much as looking at me – I’ll stop. I will sing softly in front of David, but I’m even starting to stop that because whenever I sing he always says, “what?” Not to be rude or anything. I just think he can’t tell what I’m doing and thinks I’m talking to him. I don’t know… it’s weird. I think I’ll stop.

So I have somewhat of an affinity with the American Idol contestants who suck. If it weren’t for that Chorus teacher in the 7th grade, I might of gone through life making an utter fool of myself, maybe even on national television. So my dear tone deaf challenged friends… awareness is key. If someone tells you nicely that maybe you should sing more softly… or not at all… maybe you should take their advice. :-D